No posting of this translation anywhere besides foxaholic & alliephantsfootprint. Translator: alliephant @https://foxaholic.blog/about/alliephants-page/
She was really asking for a beating, Lin Fei really wanted to rush over and beat her up. But she thought, if she herself saw such a scary appearance of a dying person, she would also certainly not be able to fall asleep. Thinking that she had to die in such a posture, she was a bit unwilling. Even if she was going to die, she also wanted to die beautifully.
Lou Yao Yao did not speak. The duration that Lin Fei sat here for should not be short. Not jumping after such a long time, her heart must have some hesitance.
After a long time, Lin Fei said: “Lou Yao Yao, I don’t need your sympathy. You should have promised him yesterday. Haven’t you been waiting for this day?”
“You think I refused Chen Hao because of you?” Lou Yao Yao was surprised.
Lin Fei was silent.
Lou Yao Yao suddenly smiled: “How could that be, I have never sympathised with you. I refused him because I didn’t like him anymore.” The reason she asked Chen Hao how was he going to deal with Lin Fei yesterday, was because she wanted to see the extent of his heartlessness, and not because she felt that Lin Fei was pitiful. Moreover, Lin Fei’s undaunted temper also made one unable to sympathise with her.
Hearing this, Lin Fei looked seriously at Lou Yao Yao’s expression. Lou Yao Yao’s expression was very calm, and did not look like she was lying at all. She could not help but think of the rumours that she and Qin Zhi were dating. It seems that it was not just a rumour.
Lou Yao Yao suddenly asked: “Lin Fei, will you die without Chen Hao?”
Lin Fei retorted: “Lou Yao Yao, will you die without Qin Zhi?”
Lou Yao Yao became silent. Just thinking about it, she felt suffocated, but she knew that she will not die. Perhaps, she might suffer for a lifetime, but she will not think of dying. She has already died once, and now she cherishes her life extremely. Even if she was in pain, she would still live to feel it. When you’re dead, nothing has any meaning anymore.
Lin Fei said, one word at a time, very seriously: “But I will. Lou Yao Yao, you don’t understand. Chen Hao is my courage to live”.
“I understand”. She certainly understood. Because Qin Zhi is also her courage. Lou Yao Yao looked at Lin Fei’s pale face that had no pink tinge to it, and said as seriously: “Since you can’t live without him, then don’t let go”.
“If you die, Chen Hao, unfortunately, will be very happy. Because he has another reason that would make people feel that he is deep in affection. Those who like him will be even happier, because there would be no more obstacles. Lin Fei, is this what you want? Using your death to please other people, this is your meaning for your only life?”
Lin Fei was spoken to till her face was even paler, because she knew that what Lou Yao Yao said was not wrong. Her death would only please other people. Whether it was her relatives or her friends; who was not fed up with her temperament now? When she died, who would care?
From young, her mental state was not very good, often going crazy and violent, unable to control herself at all. It has not improved after all these years of taking medicine. People around her all kept their distance, but only Chen Hao did not care about these and was willing to accompany her. Even if she knew that he had motives, she also could not let go, and was reluctant to part with the warmth of his person.
However, after a long time, she would also feel tired. She often thought, if she just slept quietly, and never woke up again. Especially after seeing the scene last night, she was even more tired, because that was what she once mentioned to Chen Hao, the confession scene that she wanted. But in the end, he gave her dream to others. At that moment, she was heart-wrenched till she felt numb.
However, once she thought of the situation after she died, that it’d become the way Lou Yao Yao depicted, she felt very unwilling.
Bathed in the morning sun, Lin Fei experienced this warmth, and her heart felt even more reluctant.
Sitting for a while more, Lin Fei got up from the ground. She looked up and declared arrogantly: “Lou Yao Yao, I will not let all of you have your way!”
After saying, she did not pay attention to Lou Yao Yao anymore, and staggered down the mountain.
Seeing her go, Lou Yao Yao finally breathed a sigh of relief. Wanting to get up from the ground, she realised that because she was too nervous and maintained the same sitting position, her legs were numb. Qin Zhi walked over, and squatted down to help her massage her legs. He massaged till Lou Yao Yao hissed in pain and in the end, she simply hung on Qin Zhi’s back, asking him to carry her down the mountain.
Resting on Qin Zhi’s back, Lou Yao Yao looked, ahead of her, to the tottering figure of Lin Fei’s back. She revealed a smile, and wrapped her arms around Qin Zhi’s neck. Breathing in the smell of her beloved one, she closed her eyes and hoped that this moment will be eternal.
That woman who lived for love, also seemed to not be as nasty as in her imagination.
Will you die without love?
alliephant’s corner: nice of her to persuade lin fei not to die – one way or the other